If you think Susan Boyle mania is out of control in Britain, you should try being in America, as I am at the moment.
Every TV show, magazine, newspaper, and radio station is absolutely obsessed with her, and it’s no exaggeration to say that right now, Susan is the hottest star in the U.S.
When you think that the likes of poor old Robbie Williams and Jonathan Ross have been trying for 15 years to crack it here, and she’s done it in just a week, this does seem a little unfair. But hey, that’s showbiz.
I did 50 TV interviews yesterday, right across the country, supposedly to promote the new series of America’s Got Talent, and all any of them cared about was when I’m having my hot date with Susan, what did I think of her ‘makeover’, and can anyone beat her in Britain’s Got Talent.
(The answers, by the way, are 1) As soon as I get back 2) Is there any woman in the world who wouldn’t have a new haircut if she knew 100 million people were watching her on the internet? And 3) It’s going to thrilling watching them try.)
The Boyle phenomenon has got so insane, I’ve got a horrible feeling that when I die, the headlines are now going to read: ‘JUDGE IN SUSAN BOYLE VIDEO DIES.’
As for last night’s show, I watched it on my laptop on the balcony of my Hollywood hotel (you can see the sign from my room, and it never fails to remind what a jammy little devil I am...) and I howled with laughter all the way through.
Simon often says that he thinks BGT has replaced traditional comedy shows on TV, and he’s right. It’s hilarious to judge, and hilarious to watch back the superbly produced edited highlights.
Show 3 had it all, from the wonderfully deluded opening singer Claire, to the magnificently barmy DJ Talent, and the world’s worst drag act, Tia Anna.
But who am I to mock others when I made such a spectacular fool of myself with that big wheel, nearly killed that poor bloke during his arm-standing knife act, and danced so badly that Kelly Brook had to beg me to stop?
Incidentally, I hope all those who’ve sneered at Kelly when she left the show after just a few days have now eaten their words. I thought she was warm, pretty and fun last night. It was never about her, it was about the problems a 4th judge brought to the mechanics of the show.
Though for me, there can only ever be one hot totty on BGT – the gorgeous Amanda will always get my vote.
As for the talent, Diversity were brilliant. But Hollie, the pint-sized little ballerina with the amazing voice, eclipsed even them with her stunning routine.
Can anyone beat Susan Boyle?
Yep, I think Hollie can. And so can Shaheen from last week. And so can a few other acts you haven’t even seen yet. It will all depend on how they do in the live semi-finals. Assuming they all make the final Top 40 cut obviously (prepare for a few big shocks on that score, by the way)!
One thing’s for sure - boy, do we have a competition now...